Random late night bitching about my daily life

Lately, I have not been able to breathe properly. I don't have time to do anything. I have not eaten anything tasty for 11 days. My schedule is quite busy as I have college from 8.45 am to 4 pm then I go to C.A.T. coaching from 5.15 pm till 7.30 and after that, I go to the gym from 7.50 pm to 10 pm then I take a bath, wash my clothes and go to eat my dinner. Honestly speaking my sense of taste has decreased to a scary point level as I feel hungry all the time but I am unable to taste my food after two or three bites. It has become harder to eat now but I force myself to complete my maintenance calories. Sometimes I feel quite suffocated as I don't get time to enjoy or to even rest properly. The vision for the future is quite bright but the present is getting quite dimmer now haha.

I have been trying to cry but the tears don't come out that easily. I have been ignored, pressured, left out, and hurt. Well recently out of nowhere I got some courage to release my feelings but that was also out of spite. As only thing waiting for me was rejection. I don't hate any of my unrequited love who rejected me I just wanna make them regret not choosing me. And thanks to that the

the feeling of rejection became my pre-workout. Doing gym has given me more than five hours of happiness per day which I know is not enough but at least better than feeling sad all the time. I am tired of this so-called DU college life as it has taken quite a toll on my body physically and mentally.

People irritate me nowadays. I wanted to explain this sentence but I guess you have an idea why I am so close to hating people generally. Talking about the people that I hate specifically one category Dumb people who talk a lot with no sense of humor and little to no loyalty. These types of people have made my life hell for many periods. People who were close to me last semester don't even know who I am right now and what I am going through. Personally speaking, I don't care much about this past trauma but it comes back every night in my mind to haunt me which is scarier than most problems.

My Driving force right now is the gym and my brothers. 

 

I don't have anything more to say right now.

I will be back in shortly.

Bye.

You're beloved.