Bava, Take Care.

Bava tum chutiye ho.

Hi friends, it has been so long since I wrote something on this page but here I am to bore you with my thoughts. Well, it has been more than two months but I was unable to develop any growth within myself other than learning a few bad habits and enhancing my ability to ignore shit. Honestly, I don't know what I should be focusing on right now academically or socially. 

Currently, I am reading 7 novels, and none of them seems to end soon. I am unable to socialize appropriately with my classmates and concentrate on others' conversations. Recently I have become too prone to crying and staying hungry.

The last two months took a huge toll on my mind and body as I suffered a financial loss and health depletion due to flat shifting. During this shift, my control of temper became weak, and to put a cherry on top my roommates were quite childish all the time. And to regain control of myself I started avoiding them which is also childish.

Due to my past obesity, it was quite difficult to regain my self-confidence, and personally speaking, running was not a solution. Starving myself to lose weight was an easy solution for me than exercise.

But it came with consequences as I started losing strength and became prone to diseases revolving around my chest and core. So I am unable to raise my voice in arguments which also correlates with my personality.

Well, the only good thing which happened during these two months was that I gained two homies and I love them. And our class-main group broke into two factions. Interestingly it doesn't concern me. I guess it was due to internal conflict. On the outside, it was rumored due to a petty reason but I think that some pent-up feelings got released for better or worse :).

I wish maybe I can be strong enough to release them too.

My life from others' pov is quite interesting but what happens behind closed doors nobody knows. Surprisingly the only exciting thing I have done recently is breaking a few statutes.

Actually, I want to write more but tomorrow is my internal or to be correct today is my internal in probably six hours. The first four words are for me ignore them unless you don't want to.

Right now I am on my balcony sitting on my chair trying to end this.

Bye-Bye.